Ep#42 I Am....Dressing for How I Want to Feel

Transform your mindset and boost your confidence with our latest episode featuring Kristen Werner and Mia Steele! Discover how intentional clothing choices can significantly influence not only how others perceive you but also how you perceive yourself. Kristen and Mia share personal stories, including Kristen's experiences as a paramedic, where the uniform provided much-needed courage and authority in challenging situations. Get ready to learn how even a bright yellow or pink jacket can shift your mindset and enhance your performance, especially on those tough days.

Dive into the emotional journey of personal style transitions. Kristen and Mia discuss the liberating experience of letting go of outdated outfits to make room for styles that reflect your current self. From childhood dress-ups influenced by family to the complexities of corporate fashion and parenthood, this episode covers it all. Embrace the changes in your body and find joy in dressing for your present self, focusing on color, texture, and fit to maintain a consistent, evolving style.

Finally, we explore the profound connection between personal style and self-confidence. Learn how your wardrobe can act as a coat of armor, enabling you to feel comfortable and assertive in various settings. Kristen shares how bold, bright outfits not only boost her confidence but also help initiate conversations and leave lasting positive impressions. By consciously choosing clothes that make you feel good, you can radiate positive energy, enhancing your interactions and creating memorable impressions. Plus, get an exclusive preview into Kristen's car-recorded podcast, underscoring the significant impact of dressing well on your mindset and daily performance.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the I Am Dot Dot Dot podcast, the podcast for busy mums who want to consume useful shit for their biz and their life. Here we tackle the things we know are holding mums and women back in their business.

Speaker 2: 0:11

We're not afraid to tackle the big shit, the bullshit and the good shit. We go from mum guilt to confidently learning how to kick ass in this digital space.

Speaker 1: 0:19

We will discuss the world of digital marketing and share life's tips and tricks for getting it done.

Speaker 2: 0:29

As six-figure business owners with over 10 years of digital marketing and share life's tips and tricks for getting it done. As six-figure business owners with over 10 years of digital marketing and brand experience, and mums to young kids, we get it, we share it and we own it. So buckle up and let's go. Let's go, let's go. I think we did just one of those three, maybe, I don't know. That was really good. Welcome to the I Am Dot Dot Dot podcast, the podcast for busy creators who want to consume useful shit for their biz and their life. I'm Kristen Werner, joined by Mia Steele.

Speaker 1: 0:52

What up Mia, what up, how's it going?

Speaker 2: 0:55

I'm pretty good, thanks, pretty good. Indeed, very excited about our little chat we're going to have today, because I get a bit excited at this stuff going to have today, because I get a bit excited at this stuff you do, and it's so true. What are we going to talk about?

Speaker 1: 1:11

today, mia, we're going to talk about your coat of armor, one of Kristen's most favorite topics in the world. She loves talking about this stuff. She's so passionate about it and before I met Kristen, I really didn't give this sort of stuff much thought. It and before I met Kristen, I really didn't give this sort of stuff much thought. And now that I do, and now that I'm aware of this and how it makes me feel it's true, it's amazing, and this is going to be a really good episode to listen to.

Speaker 2: 1:33

Usually we put our coats of armor on, which is, for me, the yellow jacket. Mia puts a pink jacket on. That's what I call creating your coat of armor and dressing how you need to feel. And today we're having just a day in the life of us. We're a bit cruisy. We're just doing the podcast.

Speaker 2: 1:47

It's bloody cold so I didn't want to suit up, I can tell you right now the mindset is different. I can guarantee you and Mia and I were saying this before if I put my suit jacket on my whole persona and mindset, even the way I'm sitting, would change. And that is the most powerful fucking shit you can do for yourself, and not just as a woman, not just online. But if you are having a Debbie Downer kind of day and you change one thing about yourself whether it's the shoes you wear, the earrings you put in, the makeup, the hair, the color you're wearing it will change how you feel. And I'm so fucking passionate about that. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1: 2:25

So I remember talking to you about this a little while ago. It only clicked to me recently when we had a chat about this not that long ago when I was a paramedic. If I didn't have my uniform, there's no way that I'd walk into a sex dungeon with people overdosed on the floor. The minute I put my uniform on, I felt like a different person. I had courage. I felt like.

Speaker 1: 2:47

I had a bit of authority, I felt safe for some reason, even though I definitely wasn't. But it's that whole thing stepping into that way you feel by wearing something.

Speaker 2: 2:57

Yeah, and so it's something that we wanted to talk about on the podcast today, because it's a topic we've just dropped inside the membership, called creating your coat of armor, and it's around building a personal brand, understanding the power of dressing how you need to feel, and so we thought we'd chat about it here, and at the end of this little conversation I'm going to drop a little podcast. I did years ago, my old podcast. I'm going to drop that audio here because I was cruising in the car and I just had and this is why perfection is not our game around here. I used to have a podcast in the car because I just had and this is why perfection is not our game around here. I used to do my podcast in the car because I had long distance travel with my headphones and off I went. So if it's a bit rough around the edges, it's fine, get over it, she'll be right but it's basically talking about dressing how you need to feel and, inside the membership, why we wanted to put that in.

Speaker 2: 3:38

There is one for building your personal brand, and the other part of it is also, as women and mothers, we often just get about it. We get up, we put our clothes on, we go put our act like. Right now I'm literally my tracksuit pants and a hoodie. But I said to me before, even though we've not suited up so I don't feel that coat of armor, which I usually would if I put the yellow jacket on is this like bravery, coat of armor mindset thing for me? But I still have a hot pink hoodie on, I have makeup on, I've done my hair not too bad and I have a pair of earrings because that, to me, is part of my coat of armor. That, to me, is enough for my mindset to be like I still feel good because, trust me, what I was wearing before when I went to the gym, it was a gym top and I just wasn't a cold jacket. That wasn't me. So I had to at least put this particular outfit on. So it's not about going and buying the most expensive shit you can buy and going and revamping your wardrobe, but the purpose of this whole discussion and the purpose of dressing how you need to feel is as a woman and a mother.

Speaker 2: 4:36

Certainly it's about you saying to yourself and and recognizing when you look in the mirror. If you look in the mirror and you say, oh yeah, this will do. That is the fucking energy you will take to your day. You'll take that through your day where, if you put something on and you go, oh, this will do, and then you go, no, I'm going to change, I'm going to put a scarf, I'm going to put a necklace, I'm going to put shoes, I'm going to put whatever it is a new outfit on a pair of jeans, I don't care.

Speaker 2: 5:02

And then you look at yourself and you go, oh, that's better, oh, that feels better. You kind of have a pep in your step. That is the energy you bring to the room, that is the energy you bring to your life and we don't put enough value on it because it feels superficial as fuck. And that's where I used to feel until I allowed myself to realize that it's not superficial, it's powerful. And when you can own that power and understand that dressing how you need to feel is such a beautiful thing and it gives you personal joy, then the superficial part of it just fades away and the self-doubt of like, oh, I couldn't wear that, I can't wear that.

Speaker 1: 5:40

Why not? Why can't you wear that when it's for yourself? Like it's a little bit different if you're dressing to impress other people and thinking about what they think. But it's so true, like, and it's so easy to fall into this. I'm just a mom, I'm just gonna kick this slack trackies on and slippers and like, and that's okay some days we just have those days. But the minute you put something on that makes you feel a little bit different, you do you just your day changes.

Speaker 2: 6:07

And you know it's funny because even then, when you said that, like putting something on, you know how somebody else, that feeling of you, you put it on and because you're worried about what other people think or whatever it might be their mindset, I don't ever want you to think and this is for everyone to think about anybody else in your process, because who gives a shit Like it's nobody else's business? If they don't like what you're wearing and usually nine times out of ten, it's because they don't have the confidence or they're not comfortable in their own self to wear whatever it is you're wearing, or they love it and they're like I wish I could wear that. Why can't you?

Speaker 1: 6:43

Or it's in your head and they're not actually thinking about anything. They're thinking about themselves. They couldn't give a damn what you wear. But it's in your head thinking, oh, they're going to judge me if I wear this.

Speaker 2: 6:53

Yeah, and usually that then makes us as women but makes us go oh, I'll just, maybe I shouldn't wear that. You know how many times have you been in a? I don't know about you, but you know how many times have you been in a? I don't know about you, but I know. You know certainly your school days. But even now I've noticed before if we ever go to a function with friends, there'll be the messenger group that people are so what are you wearing? And I never.

Speaker 1: 7:11

I'm like I don't know, like it's never been my thing to be like.

Speaker 2: 7:15

Oh, like people like I'm gonna wear jeans because it's this, I'm like I'm not, I'm probably gonna wear a fucking ball gown because I'm not like it's never.

Speaker 2: 7:23

It's never crossed my mind to do that, because I've always stepped into this space of like, like. Sometimes I'll plan an entire outfit two days before, a week before. I'm like that's, that's how I want to feel, and then I'll get dressed and I'll put it on and I'll look like not vibing it today and it'll be the smallest thing, whether it's a change of shoes or a skirt or a color or an earring or something that takes it from. It's just not right to damn.

Speaker 2: 7:50

That's good and and and it's something that you know. Even then it just clicked like as a designer, when I'm designing something, it can be the most minimal change that I'll be looking at a design all day and be like why is this not right? And then I'll move something or change a color. I'm like nailed it there it is really there's no change to any of anybody else's eye, but I know what I know. You know it's.

Speaker 1: 8:15

It's that kind of thing, and it could be like simple stuff too, like you don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe, but sometimes I find that just tucking in my white shirt instead of leaving it out, just changes the whole look and the whole feel too and it's something that I know.

Speaker 2: 8:31

I was just listening to a podcast which we can link below in the show notes as a mamma mia podcast, and they did the finding your color chart, you know, like if you're a warm autumn or a spring or a cool spring, and so there's a few links that they had to there and they spoke to someone. It's a really good podcast actually. But even finding out that, like what colors are good for you, is helpful for you to feel more confident in that, helpful for you to bring your space to light, helpful for you to understand what colors work with you and what don't, because some colors just don't Like. Greens, for me, are gross.

Speaker 1: 9:06

And blacks. If you ever see me in black, you'll be like yeah you're not okay. Yeah, well, you were right, I haven't no go. I was gonna say I haven't done my color chart yet. I've seen it all over TikTok and it matches your skin with all the colors and stuff, and I think there's a AI one that does it as well too, so that would be interesting to do actually yeah, and it's really worthwhile doing because it just shows you what colors compliment you and some people like for me.

Speaker 2: 9:27

I know personally what colors I love and what make me feel good. So even if my color chart was like y'all shouldn't wear pink, I'd be like, well, that is just never going to happen. So that's a no. But also then I'd find other colors that might work. But you know, if you're struggling and you don't know what works and you don't know what's good, then maybe doing some of those things and there's so many options you can do is a good idea. But then I think, no matter what and I'll say this, I think I say this in the podcast, I certainly say this in the masterclass it's just, it's knowing yourself enough.

Speaker 2: 9:59

You know, when you put something on, if your brain says to you yuck. Or if your brain says to you oh, these jeans are tight. Oh, I feel gross. Like if I'm heading into my period, don't get me in a pair of jeans. Because my brain says to me Kristen, you're looking really fat. And I don't ever, ever say to myself nasty words, but I know when I'm three days out from my period, my brain's going hey, you look fucking gross, mate.

Speaker 2: 10:26

But I know enough about myself now to be like that is not you talking, and then I'll go and put on something else and be like there you go, that looks nice. So we need to understand ourselves as well. Like, do the color charts, do all that, that's fine, but please like, if nothing else, please know that if you look at your own reflection and you say yuck, yuck, that's not comfortable, I'm uncomfortable, this looks funny, it sits funny, it's a bit weird. Society says I should wear this, but it's not me.

Speaker 2: 10:56

Take it off, and then go and find something that when you put it on, you go, oh, that's nice. Because if it's making you smile and it's making you look at yourself and go, that's nice. And it doesn't have to be oh my God, I'm so fucking hot, it's amazing. It just has to be like that's nice, I feel good. Yeah, like that's the most important thing in this whole process, to even getting to a stage where you can start dressing in a way that is a little bit more out there. But you just need it's like confidence is a muscle. It's a little baby steps, little baby things that might just change the way that you look and you feel. But that's my passion point is dressing how you need to feel and what that does for you is huge huge, Absolutely, and especially for mums too.

Speaker 1: 11:39

you sort of lose yourself a little bit. You know you're at home all day with the bubby, breastfeeding. You need to have comfy clothes and all that sort of stuff and there's a time and a place for that. But even just waking up and you might stay in your trackies all day, but just putting a bit of concealer on or, you know, a nice headband or something, you just feel a little bit better.

Speaker 2: 11:57

Yeah, and I think that's the key is there's no shame in that. If it makes you feel better, who cares? It's nobody else's business but yours. Like, if it makes you feel better and our bodies change and they don't usually go back to how they were, and that's okay, and so it's about embracing that and being okay with the fact that that thing that you used to love, that used to and this is the other thing I say about it in the Masterclass is clothes are so powerful, and so if you're holding onto something that was a past memory, that doesn't fit you anymore, that you're only holding onto it because that was you at that time and I'm never going to be there and that's oh, I'm so grumpy that I'll never be that woman again.

Speaker 2: 12:36

That's not a good feeling, where, if you kind of look at it and go, geez, I love that outfit and God, that was a good time, but it doesn't fit me anymore. That's okay, cause this is my new style, then that's like that's okay, or it's that you find a new version and you go now I feel comfortable, now I feel confident and now I know how to go into a clothes shop and find something that works for me. So clothes are so powerful. Don't underestimate their power, and sometimes you have to let them go, because that is also a powerful thing, and sometimes you just need to learn that our bodies change. That's okay, and now we just need to find something that makes us feel good, whatever that is.

Speaker 1: 13:13

And as someone who has been pretty in tuned with your style and fashion, you know I'm going to say most of your life, perhaps yeah. Yeah. Has your style ever changed and if so, why did it change? Good question, it's always been pretty.

Speaker 2: 13:28

Yeah, well, it's funny because on that, I don't know if I've told you this, I've told many people, my mum's told a lot of people. When I was younger about my daughter's age, probably four-ish mum took me shopping in Target and this lady came up to her and was like I just wanted to let you know that everything you're putting in the cart that your daughter doesn't seem to like she's throwing out.

Speaker 1: 13:52

So, apparently, like we're going through Target and mum's putting stuff in, I'm like, nope, not me, not me.

Speaker 2: 13:55

And now I can say that to my daughter. I'm like embrace, I've got to embrace this. Is she like you? Yeah, I think for me, and I do credit a lot of this to my mum, because she's just such a beautiful soul and has the most immaculate way of dressing herself and just incredible, incredible woman in general in terms of how she presents herself. And so she tells me a story of like her nanny used to take her.

Speaker 2: 14:13

Her mom, sorry used to take her to town and you have to wear gloves and hats and you had to dress up beautifully to go to town. It was a very special occasion. So, even as kids, if we'd go to town and like we live in the city, but if we go to town you'd wear your good clothes. And so mom, this like she always kind of put that to us if you're going somewhere, then you need to dress up and be appropriate and not in, and not not in a way that was controlling, just in a way that she knew that what was good and what was home clothes and what was out clothes and so for that, that was very much always my lifestyle. I'm a raging tomboy, though, so I love like we live on a farm and I've always been in the mud river farm, just love it. But then love the opposite part of being able to dress up, and so for me there was always color, texture, fitting of clothing. So my mom was also a sewer. So when I used to watch her go to work and she had a corporate career and worked with a lady in PR and so she had quite a stylized work, I suppose, stylized job and so she used to and this is in the eighties, when the eighties was like raging and like the suit jacket, so mum used to get dressed up in these beautiful suits, very tailored, very beautiful, and she'd go to work in that. And then when I was playing and I used to play dress ups, I'd play in all her old clothes and so I'd be dressing and all that and I'd be testing stuff as a young kid Like I'd be wearing high boots with short skirts or long skirts with boots, and I'd dress up and play in her clothes for hours and hours and was just in my absolute element, which is now what I do in my own wardrobe.

Speaker 2: 15:44

But then when I went and got my corporate job, I played the same role, so I dressed up like that. I got the pencil skirts. I had the suit jackets. I did that.

Speaker 2: 15:54

I didn't conform I've never conformed to what anybody's told me I should wear, and I do credit that to mum, because mum was a sewer and she'd buy things that were nice, name brand or not. She didn't care. If it looked nice and you liked it, you wear it. And so that's been me and I suppose maybe that's it so for me. I've not changed. I've probably just always gone with color, texture and fit.

Speaker 2: 16:19

So you know, certainly in my corporate career it was a very tight pencil skirt or, you know, nice tailored pants. They were expensive but they were always something I always bought. And even in the dressing room I'd stand there and be like, try it on and I'd have in my mind, okay, yes, that would go with the jacket, and I've got that shirt and that shirt and that color and I know that that would go with that and that matches that. So, yes, that's now. I've got now five outfits that I can wear for one pair of pants.

Speaker 2: 16:50

I've always been able to do that and then as a mum, I suppose that's probably been my biggest struggle is that that's where I've had to change and it's and there's been a bit of grieving in that, because there's a part of me that just loved getting dressed and but now when I go out, I I do still dress in a way that you know we might be going to the pub and some of my girlfriends were. You know they're jeans and a T-shirt cool, I might wear that sometimes too. But then sometimes I might go out and be like you know what I'm wearing the structured suit, like it's always been for me, I've always just wanted to feel good in what I'm wearing, no matter what. I don't care what you say. If I walk into a room and people like, oh, she's a bit dressed up, cool, yeah, cool, probably not changed, but I think motherhood's been the hardest, because it's my body's changed and it hasn't changed enough that it's like significantly different.

Speaker 1: 17:39

But it's enough, it's like damn and you're at home more, too, you haven't got the corporate job. Yeah, I'm just thinking back on my like, as as soon as I finished university, I went into jobs that required uniforms, so I've just worn a uniform and I and for me that was great, cause I didn't have to think about what I was going to wear. I didn't have to buy outfits and all that sort of stuff, cause I find fashion very overwhelming. I hate, going shopping.

Speaker 1: 18:04

I hate making decisions. I think everything looks terrible on me. So I'm coming from that point of view that I understand that when I find something that looks and feels good, I feel great. But I find it very overwhelming because it hasn't been part of my life or I've always worn a uniform, so it's. It's a learning process and learning how to style myself and what clothes to buy and what looks good and what doesn't look good.

Speaker 1: 18:28

It's a process, but your masterclass that you've dropped inside our membership is great and I had tears watching it. It was a very emotional process because it's been something for me that I've always just sort of pushed down and, I think, because I don't like the attention on me. So therefore, I'll just wear the jeans and the white top or the black jacket. I'm very toned down, so it's definitely a learning curve if you're coming from that side where fashion hasn't really played a big part in your life. But if you're building a personal brand and you're on social media and you're putting yourself out there, you've got to kind of start thinking about this stuff too.

Speaker 2: 19:02

Yeah, and I think it's one of those things that it's always been something for me play Like. I've always played with it as if it's like just something really fun to do, so it's never been something I've overthought in terms of, um, not enjoying it like. I've just always seen getting dressed as a joy, and that comes from, I think, you know like going back to the thought of mom, and so I used to play in her wardrobe and spend hours in there and see, I didn't see, I had a play box full of dress-ups yeah it's been hours and hours and pretend to be people and things like that.

Speaker 2: 19:34

So it's, it's something that for me it's second nature just to play again now as an adult. So you know, and that's, I think, people that do have uniforms what's good about that is it's you know, it is that coat of armor, but then outside of that, then it's it's learning what is comfortable for you and if nothing else playing in that and testing things.

Speaker 2: 19:54

But then I can understand that there is you know, I do respect that there is a conversation and a self-talk that you have with yourself, like what will people think? And I can't stand out and and I suppose if what is my style?

Speaker 1: 20:04

I don't even know what my style is like.

Speaker 2: 20:07

Yeah, and that's in the masterclass I go through. Go to Pinterest and just like, look at other styles and then try and replicate them when you go shopping. And again it goes back to that play like, have fun with it, like your style tells a story. And I don't think we don't lean on that enough anymore because we just get dressed and you know we either don't want to stand out, so we just get dressed in whatever, where you're still telling a story, it's still part of your brand.

Speaker 1: 20:33

It's got to feel like you. There's no point, you know, dressing a particular way because people say that that looks good and that's what people. But if you don't feel like you, you're not going to feel great.

Speaker 2: 20:44

No, absolutely. I think if it's now I don't know, and what we're putting in the next part, we'll we'll kind of add the bits that resonate as well. But hopefully, if nothing else, this just gets you thinking about the power of what you get to wear, like having fun with it and not overthinking it. And you know, I've always said that if, in doubt, dress up like you know when you go to something and people are like oh, you know it's, I don't know, will you know when you go to something and people are like oh, you know, I don't know, will it be too?

Speaker 2: 21:11

dressy, do it Like wouldn't you want to be overdressed and underdressed? Like I always? I think I said it in the masterclass too. Like imagine going to an interview in your track suit, that you haven't washed for a week without doing your hair, and just walking. How would you feel in that moment? Yeah, exactly, and that's the difference between then just having a shower, putting on a nice pair of jeans, a white shirt tucked in a little slip-on shoe and a little tailored jacket, I bet you're going to feel different than the tracky girl Like the tracky girl doesn't get the job either.

Speaker 2: 21:40

Yeah, and that's and that's what that's. The superficial part I want to blow up is it's not getting dressed to be a social media phenomenon. It's getting dressed for you and doing it for you. Like you are a person, you are an energy, you are something very important in this world and you need to feel something, whether that's for your kids, like you know, to spark joy in them. I just, if nothing else, that's what I'm passionate about is, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. You have to feel joy in getting dressed for yourself and for the energy that you bring to the room.

Speaker 1: 22:14

Yeah, and it's something you do every single day. So why? Not make it fun and interesting and yeah, what you're gonna do yeah, but anyway that's my passion guys well, we're gonna tag on kristen's other conversation to herself that she had. How many years ago is this? And you're still talking, you know?

Speaker 2: 22:35

oh, my this is five or six years ago, I reckon. I did that podcast and I'm still and I will forever talk about it because I just and I love and the funny thing is is when I when I used to do these in-person workshops and hopefully mia and I will get a chance to do that with an audience soon this was the part that blew women's minds. This was the part when I got onto personal branding and dressing how you need to feel. This was a section that women just wanted more of, because nobody's talking about it in a way that isn't superficial and isn't and it's it's tricky because not everyone likes playing in their wardrobe. I respect that, but I want women to get excited about doing that and that's what. Yeah, that's what.

Speaker 1: 23:15

so hopefully we'll do an in-person thing. We'll just like, oh, we're going to, we're going to, and if you're inside the membership, we're dropping the coat of armor masterclass. So jump on that when that's in there, cause'll love it. Honestly, it's great.

Speaker 2: 23:29

To do these in-person workshops and hopefully Mia and I will get a chance to do that with an audience soon. This was the part that blew women's minds. This was the part when I got onto personal branding and dressing how you need to feel. This was the section that women just wanted more of, because nobody's talking about it in a way that isn't superficial and isn't and it's tricky, because not everyone likes playing in their wardrobe. I respect that, but I want women to get excited about doing that and that's what. Yeah, that's what. So hopefully we'll do an in-person thing. We'll just like let's pop it All right, team, we'll jump on in and we'll see you later.

Speaker 2: 24:05

Bye, well, hello, hello, gorgeous soul, and welcome to the Monday Munchies, where today I am bringing it to you from the car driving the highway without children in the car. You see, what happens is when I'm driving and there's no kids in the car, my brain goes off. Is it the silence that you're on your own, you're driving, you're cruising, you're listening to tunes, and I found myself also. The same thing happens to me in the shower. The second I get in the shower, I'm like an idea factory, in all seriousness. It's those moments where you allow yourself to be free of all the things going on in your life and, all of a sudden, my brain especially and I know from a lot of entrepreneurs that I speak to that is when you just go up, and it also happens to be just before bed that I speak to. That is when you just go off, and it also happens to be just before bed my brain's like right, you're going to get sleepy, we're going to get ideary. So today's podcast being the Name in the Car, I just had this thought and feeling around confidence in terms of showing up for yourself and dressing how you need to feel is really where this one is going to go today. But it all stemmed from the fact of when I'm working one-on-one with my clients, I like to talk to them about how they can really embrace their personal brand and how they can share their story and their message and what that looks like in terms of brand and brand consistency, and we work through the visual branding. And then we get to this section where I talk to them around their coat of armor and, strangely enough, it is the section of the work that I do that women just light up about that.

Speaker 2: 25:34

I get tagged on all the time on social media when people say I'm dressing like this today, I've embraced how I'm feeling, and they tag me and say thank you very much for everything that you've said. And it could be one or two posts, it could be one-on-one clients that I work with, that it's. I think it's one of these things that I was trying to define it as I was driving and I was just kind of vaguing out and listening to this amazing song and I was like, when it comes to showing up on social media, there is a fear of judgment. There is a fear of I don't know what to say, I don't know how to say it. When we get dressed to go and do whatever it is we want to go and do, whether it's go to work, whether it's to go out to a function again we have this fear of judgment. Where we go, oh, I'd love to wear this, but what will people think I'm going to say fuck them. Do you like it? Does it make you feel good? Wear it. And this is where I get like super, uber, duper passionate. This is probably why people tag me in it, because I don't hold back in this space.

Speaker 2: 26:33

I honestly believe that you need to dress how you want to feel. Like if you put something on in your wardrobe and you go, oh yeah, I suppose, yeah, this is okay, this will do, all right. Well, that's the energy you're going to take with you all day. Oh yeah, this is okay, this will do, this will do. And I'm not saying that you need to dress for success every single day, and it's not even fucking success I'm talking about. If you put on your tracksuit, like, okay, you're going to a job interview, right. Or you're going to, I don't know, meet a girlfriend out for a drink, and you put on a tracksuit and you look in the mirror and you go, oh fuck, this is a bit average, not really feeling that great. Oh well, I'll just go anyway. I mean, you're just not going to. You're going to get up and think, right, well, today you're going to an interview, let's just say. And you're going to look in the mirror, I hope. Or look in your wardrobe and think how do I want to feel? I want to feel powerful, I want to feel on top of my game, I want to feel polished and clean. So you're going to sort through your wardrobe and find something, but this is where I want to stop you and just check you on this one and make sure you don't look through your wardrobe and go, oh, I mean that I love, but it's a bit much. No, it's not too much.

Speaker 2: 27:46

If that's you and that's your personality, your clothing has power. It is powerful, it's not superficial, it's powerful and it speaks volumes. I think in a past podcast I've said to you guys that in three point something seconds, people will judge you. It's a harsh but true fact. So give them something really valuable to judge. What you wear and how you introduce yourself and the energy you bring to the room. People will judge it. Now, how they judge it is totally on them and you can't control that. It's got nothing to do with you. So don't fear that.

Speaker 2: 28:19

But if you want to walk into a situation and feel great, feel successful, feel powerful, just feel good, then dress for it. And so this is where I must admit like I have an amazing wardrobe. I'm not going to lie. That is thanks to my mother. She's an incredible woman who has always, always looked impeccable, and still does. And so, as kids you know, I think the life lesson that she taught me is that you know she used to say, when her mum used to take her to town. And this is like back in the day, when you'd go to town in your nice dress and your boots and your stockings and your gloves and your hat this is back in the day. And she, her mother, would get them dressed to go to town and they would wear their best outfit. And I'm like, oh I just that makes my heart sing. And so when mum and I would go to town, when I was a girl and I'm only like what 37? We would dress, she would get dressed up and together we would go in our nice outfits. And I love that.

Speaker 2: 29:12

And yes, you know you go through those teenage years where you're a rebel a bit. You're like I'm going to wear, I'm just going to wear thongs, not Ugg boots for me. I'm not an Ugg boot girl. That is a story for another podcast. But you know you have your bit of and look. I am not always impeccably dressed. So this is not tearing down those moments where you are in active wear and you have a messy bun and you just go about your day.

Speaker 2: 29:34

Because let me tell you that has been 85% of my life for the last few years, being that we've had to live through what we've had to live through having two young kids living on a property I just don't get out as much as I used to. But let me tell you this, and this is what the point of this podcast is about the days where I need to feel better, I need to feel something, I will dress for how I need to feel, and some of those days can legit be the days that my mom comes and looks after the kids and I go over to our office. That's on our vineyard, that's by myself, secluded on my own, and I dress for how I need to feel, which, in that moment, is usually me knowing that, yeah, I'll do some batching of content, I might do a live, you know what? I just need to feel like the CEO of my own business. So I'm going to dress for that. And so I say to you a few things Don't always ask your girlfriends what they're going to wear to an event, because if you want to dress up, you dress up.

Speaker 2: 30:32

And there's one thing that I always feel, and I've always lived by, that, if in doubt, dress up. Because for me personally, if I go to an event and I don't know what to wear and I underdress. Oh, I just I feel terrible. I would rather be overdressed and underdressed, and this is also part of my personal brand and what energy I like to bring to a room. And I don't know where this comes from, whether it's the love of the I'm inverting commas here underdog.

Speaker 2: 31:02

I love to cheer women on, to empower them with their own self-worth, and so for me, when I go to an event and I decide to wear a sparkly pink jacket and overdress again quotation marks overdress in potentially someone else's eyes, but for me it's totes normal. Part of my brain also knows that that becomes an icebreaker for those people that just might be a little bit more introverted, might not want to break the ice in a conversation, because if I'm wearing a smoking jacket or a fancy pair of shoes, it may allow somebody in that room that doesn't know a single soul but is there to network and kind of wants to break the ice, to come up and say, oh my gosh, I love your shoes and I go oh my God, thank you so much, I got them from here and I love them and they go with this, and all of a sudden the ice has been broken and so I know that I do that and this is why I call it a coat of armor. And this is what I love to coach my clients on is creating their coat of armor. Because, for me, if I'm dressing how I need to feel and I'm going to this particular call it a networking event and I know I want to kind of break the ice, meet some new people, stand out from the crowd, of course I am going to dress for that. I'm not ashamed of that, I'm not embarrassed by that, because that is my personal brand and that is how I need to feel.

Speaker 2: 32:18

And so for me, for a long time I found it quite superficial to talk about. I know I struggle with it a lot. People would always say oh, I love what you're wearing here. You know, I love this outfit. You always look wonderful. You know one of those things that you know. I would always say thank you very much and whatever.

Speaker 2: 32:34

But I would feel very, very self-conscious telling people how much thought goes into how I dress. I don't just wake up and put it on and think that'll do Now if I know I have something say, it's the start of the week and I know I'm going somewhere at the end of the week and it can be anything. It can be dinner with the girls, it can be out somewhere, it could be an event of some kind. My thought process starts even around when I know the event's happening. It's not that I have to sit down and plan every little bit, it's just that I start thinking, oh, that, yeah, what am I going to make? Oh, that'll be a fun night. I could wear this or this. And sometimes I have the outfit fully planned, ready to go, and then I get in my wardrobe and I'm like, oh, I'm just not feeling. It Just not. So I'm a raging mood dresser and for a while I thought that was totally weird and I kind of never really spoke about it. I just kind of pretend I just chucked it together. It's just how I roll when it's not.

Speaker 2: 33:28

It's incredibly purposeful, because color has an immense power over your energy, an immense power over your soul, and it should never be undervalued. And that comes from when you create a brand, a logo you wouldn't create an energy company that is sustainable to the universe and all earthy and put it in bright red, because red has a lot of power. And people look at that color and they know instantly, they get a feeling, and this is where dressing how you need to feel comes from. There are many, many a time that I would go to my corporate job and I would walk in to the office and people would say, oh, I could never wear that. I'd be like, um, yeah, you could, why not? Oh, I could just never wear that. I'd be like, yeah, you could, why not? Oh, I could just never wear those colors, why not? Oh, they're just, I just, I don't know, that's just stand out. Why the fuck don't you want to stand out? And this is where my passion pants come on, because you were born to stand out. And, yes, you might be a little introverted and be like Kristen, just calm your farm. I don't want to stand out, and that's okay.

Speaker 2: 34:32

But what elements of your style help tell your story, help create a coat of armor that you feel confident in? And this is where I like to take my one-on-one clients is in order for you to feel comfortable and confident to show up on camera, to show up to networking events, to build your brand, you need to feel comfortable and confident in how you dress, how you look, how you talk, how you communicate, how you do all the things, because that is part of your personal brand and that personal brand for me. If we go back to that example of me, because I'm talking about me, so I might as well, but I like to make people feel comfortable in my presence and if that means that having a really bright t-shirt on or a really funky pair of shoes helps somebody come up and say, oh my gosh, I love your shoes, and then me go, oh yeah, great, and start a conversation, that to me is great. And look, it also has the polar opposite, where people are like who is this chick? She's too bright. I'm just going to avoid in case it gets uncomfortable and that's okay. I hope that you never feel that way around me, but I know that I am loud and I am bright, but at the same time, I'm incredibly inclusive and I love being around people and nothing more I love than supporting other people to feel comfortable and confident within themselves.

Speaker 2: 35:41

So when we create our coat of armor, it is about understanding what feels good on you, and there is no fucking science to this. Like, honestly, I want you to stop right now and I want you to think to yourself an outfit. Think of an outfit that you felt amazing in. It could have been a week ago, a month ago, three years ago, 10 years ago. I guarantee you can think of that outfit right now. I guarantee it. And now you've thought of that outfit, I want you to say it out loud, write it down, do whatever what you want to do. How did it make you feel? Like? If you remember it, it made you feel something sexy, confident, sassy, gorgeous, beautiful. I don't care, I just want to know that you know there is an outfit that made you feel that way. Now, I'm not saying that you should feel that way every time you get dressed, because that would be a bit crazy, but I do want to let you know that it's possible to create a feeling that is going to inspire you, give you more energy, boost your confidence, your creativity, your zest, like shit. That's awesome.

Speaker 2: 36:46

So when you get dressed, if nothing else, you take away from this podcast that was meant to be short and sweet, but it's not, because this is where I really do get passionate. So soz, if you take nothing else away from this, next time you get dressed and you're going somewhere and you want a vibe and you put your clothes on and you think, oh, I don't know, oh, this will do. Stop yourself, that won't do. Find something that, when you put it on, you look in the mirror and instantly you smile to yourself and go yeah, yeah, this looks good. And you are not being superficial in that moment, you're not being all showy and like look at me, I'm gorgeous and look, if you are fucking hats off to you. I hope that you can say that kind of thing to yourself, because you should say that kind of thing to yourself. But yeah, I get it's also hard, but I would love you to get dressed and look at yourself and feel energy radiating from you, because I guarantee you, if it is radiating from you, that it makes you smile, that you look in the mirror and you go, yes, oh, damn, this looks good.

Speaker 2: 37:47

Then the second you walk into a room or meet a person or go somewhere or network with someone they are going to go oh, she was lovely, oh, that was nice, oh, wow, I got a real vibe from her, I guarantee it. I have people that send me pictures. Oh, I thought of this when I saw this outfit. I thought of you. Or, oh, my gosh, I remember you at that networking event. You were wearing that yellow jacket, or oh you know, people will say, oh, I've met Kristen. She's just so bright and bubbly and her energy is so amazing. There is thought behind that. Yes, I am a bubbly, energetic person full stop. I love to bring that. That's part of my personality, my human traits, my human design, all the things. But it's also part of the plan, kind of I know, and I hope that I do leave people feeling better than when I met them and they go oh my God, that was amazing. How much fun was that.

Speaker 2: 38:37

And that comes down to how you dress, how you turn up, how you speak to people, your energy that you bring to the room. So, if nothing else, please do me a huge favor. And when you get dressed and think to yourself, oh, this will do, stop and think, no, it won't. Find something that makes you look in the mirror and go yeah, oh, I feel good. Smile to yourself. I would love to celebrate you because I love nothing more than seeing women shine and feeling comfortable and confident who they are and how they dress and how they show up. So, guys, if you have been thinking, geez, the Hive Hub Collective sounds like the place that you want to be well. Let me tell you, our members absolutely love it and inside the membership we help them each and every day to build a business that we know is possible for them and create content that gets them paid online. And right now you can join the waitlist.

Speaker 1: 39:29

If you are on that waitlist, you will not miss out when our next store's open. If you're wondering how to get on this waitlist, just head to our socials at Hive Hub Collective and pop your name inside the waitlist. Email capture there and you'll be notified when we're getting ready to open the doors again.

Speaker 2: 39:43

And inside the membership, we are sharing each and every day with our members how they can build a digital business, how, every day with our members, how they can build a digital business, how they can start UGC, user-generated content and grow their brand and their business. We are teaching them how to build their personal brands, their business brands, launch products through our Back it Before you Build it process, so that if you are interested in creating something you are truly passionate about and having the longevity being online so you don't have to go back to work, then this is the membership for you. So, like Mia said, jump on that wait list. You'll be the first to find out when those doors fly open and then you can buzz on inside. Do you like that?

Speaker 1: 40:17

Can't wait to see you. She'd podcast Absolutely so many good ones too.